Sunday, March 16, 2014

Have you ever heard of Grouper?


 I first heard about Grouper a couple months after KC and I broke up. One of my girlfriends told me the premise and that when I was ready to start dating again, she suggested we try it. Here's the low down on it:

            Grouper is defined as a social club that sets up drinks between two groups of friends. One girl rounds up two of her girlfriends to go meet with three guys who are all friends. You are assigned a concierge person who takes care of all the details for you. The concierge chooses the three guys you go out with, where you get your drinks at, and even covers the first round of drinks. They take one girl from the group and reviews their Facebook profile/interests, and the short survey the girl took. Once this is looked at, she is matched up with one of the guys in the group. This is to hopefully have at least one successful match between the group of six. Each person pays $22 to go on the Grouper. You're not told any of the names of the people participating or what they look like or even where you're having the date! The concierge person sends you the time and place of where it's going down the night before. You show up at that time, tell them the name that the reservation is under (usually under the female's name who was matched in the group).

I participated in my first Grouper a few weeks ago. Going into it I wasn't sure what to expect. I'd heard success stories and horror stories. I was just keeping my expectations low, and only wishing to at least have a decent time. It's not realistic to think that you'll meet the love of your life on this thing, but I guess it's possible. With that being said, I was totally ok with not connecting romantically with any of these guys. I just didn't want to deal with Dbags or guys who couldn't converse. My only hope for the experience was that these guys would be funny and could engage in some good conversation. When our concierge lady emailed us the details the day before, I immediately received a text from one of my girlfriends. "The place that were supposed to go to has been closed since December..I'm going to email the concierge back" I then responded with "How did she make the reservation then if the place has been closed. This seems kind of shady" my other friend then piped in with "We are not going there. That place looks like where they would find my dead, murdered body". Luckily we got it all straightened out and our concierge lady said she would get us our new location by the next afternoon (just mere hours before the date!). We also told her which neighborhoods we would like it to be in since we weren't a fan of the fact that she was trying to send us to SoDo in the first place.

The next afternoon we received the updated location. Terra Plata up on Capitol Hill. I had never been to this place, and trying new restaurants is one of my favorite things to do, so I was looking forward to having the date there. Myself and one of the other girls carpooled up to Terra Plata together because we didn't want to end up going into it alone! Our other friend had to meet us up there due to some work function that she was at until right before the date time. As we walked into the restaurant and gave the host our name, he pointed to a table centrally located in the building. The long, wooden table he pointed to was half full, the male half of the grouper date. My friend and I made our way over and introduced ourselves. The three guys appeared at face value as normal. So far so good. It would only be determined as the time went on if they were as normal as they appeared. Our other friend arrived minutes later, we all ordered our drinks, and the date officially was off the ground. For the next couple hours there was conversation between me and the guy sitting across from me which would then shift to a conversation with the guy sitting next to me. At times we would all have a conversation as a group. I laughed quite a bit during our date and I realized this while it was occurring. Which in turn to me meant that it had been a successful first date back in to this crazy dating world. There might have not been some instant love connection with any of these guys, but they were all productive, decent members of society-who could make me laugh.

I would do Grouper again, but I think the one thing I would change is: the places where the dates take place need to have round tables! I didn't even get the chance to talk to one of the guys on the date because he was all the way at the other end of the table from me. I wasn't completely bothered by that though because he was short and had the same name as my ex boyfriend. I think it was meant to be that way. Ha!

**I was in no way compensated for my views or opinions on Grouper. I am merely sharing my experiences to help those out there that may want to know about such a dating service.**

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Sunday, March 9, 2014

Sunday, Currently.


Today has been a mixed bag O activities. The day started off way earlier than I would have liked, but it was all in the name of work. I was being paid overtime so it wasn't all that bad. After a few hours at the office, I headed back home to relax. Most of my day was spent laying on the couch watching a never ending marathon of Property Virgins on HGTV. I did, however, manage to complete a few things by peeling myself off the couch (ok, I completed some things while on the couch too).

  • Made that delicious soup pictured above. It's called Slow Cooker Chicken Fajita Soup. I found it over on Six Sisters Stuff Blog, threw everything in the crock pot around three this afternoon, and impatiently waited over the slow cooker for the last thirty minutes of cooking time. Talk about YUM! It turned out really well and was extremely easy. My favorite kind of slow cooker recipes are the kind where you don't have to do any precooking before placing it in the slow cooker.
  • Caught up on all my shows. Parenthood, Parks & Rec, and Girls. I have to say: I think Girls is starting to get good again. I've been so disinterested in this season yet the last few episodes are better than the first few. As far as Parenthood goes..AHH! I feel like everything going on in that show is part of my real life. Joel and Julia's marital struggles KILL me. I hate it so much that Joel has his own apartment now, and that he's basically thrown in the towel. After watching this weeks episode and seeing the preview for next weeks, I'm hopeful that they could be mending their relationship in the near future. I miss the old Joel from the first few seasons. If I could find a man like him, I'd marry him yesterday.
  • I took a nap. My sleep schedule has been SO jacked for the last week. I worked long hours at work this week. Up early and home late. This is how old and sad I am: on Friday I got home from work around six. I laid down on my couch and fell asleep. Next thing I know it's eleven pm! I was up for a half an hour and then went back to bed til eight the next morning. Of course I stayed up late last night and had to be up early this morning. Here's hoping I can get my sleep schedule corrected this week. 
I'm about thirty minutes away from hoping into my bed and cracking open the Kindle so it's time to wind this down. Have a great week, y'all!

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Thursday, March 6, 2014

On Friends


Last night I had to say goodbye to a friend. I'm so incredibly happy for her because she is starting a new job in southern California very soon. I love her for taking a break up with a long term boyfriend and turning it into something positive: realizing that it was time for a life change. She could have easily moped around and played the poor me stance, but she didn't. She cut ties, moved all her stuff into a friend's basement and has been sleeping on an air mattress and searching for new jobs for the last few months. She never looked back. Her strength was empowering. It was so refreshing to witness her actions when we live in a world full of people who rarely leave their comfort zone.

Our friendship is fairly new, but I'm a strong believer in the idea that people come in to your life for a reason, no matter how long or short they stick around in it. Her and I met through mutual friends shortly after KC and I broke up and the weekend after she broke up with her boyfriend. We instantly connected. We were able to talk about life, boys and just be humorous with each other. I never once felt judgement from her on anything I talked to her about. We cheered each other on when scoping for guys, laughed at stupid things we would say, and texted back and forth following up on one another's day. We were able to lean on each other during a time when our hearts were healing (Probably more so mine than hers!) and find comfort in that. She is definitely one of those friends that you don't meet every day, and when you do, you feel so blessed to have crossed paths. Our friendship may be young, but it's just beginning. I look forward to hearing about how her new path is going, and planning trips down to see her. Distance sucks, but I've learned that it's not all that bad. You just pick up where you last left off, and I've noticed that I prefer these friendships the best.

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Tuesday, March 4, 2014



As we all know, I'm a single lady. I've been one for about six months now. I also have a decent handful of girlfriends who, just like me, are single. Therefore dating is a common topic amongst us. Although my thoughts on men in general have become a little more tarnished due to my previous relationship, my thoughts on dating have been the same for the last four or five years. 

My number one thought on dating is that society has confused the definition and point of dating. This is how I view dating. You may or may not agree with me, and that's fine. I know it's a highly debated subject. 

To date is when you go out to dinner, a show, an event,coffee or some other activity in order to get to know each other better. To see if you are romantically into that person or see the possibility of it in the future.

 To be dating someone means that you have gone on a few of these dates, and it's more than just a friendship growing. You see potential for it to grow into something more.

 The whole point of dating a person is to determine if you want to move it to another level: a relationship. Dating is all about taste testing what is out there. No one is saying you have to go jump in the sack with a bunch of guys/girls, but you can go on dates with different people, have fun and it is ok. IF no words of commitment have been made to each other, than you are both free to date who you want to because if you had talked commitment, you have now placed yourself into a new category. Congratulations! You're in a relationship. 

 Below I've compiled a three things I've come to discover are extremely helpful in navigating the dating world and still maintaining happiness while doing so. 

1. Don't put all your eggs in one basket so quickly 

I feel I can only speak from a female's perspective on all these answers since I am one, but women seem to hop into a one track mindset faster than men. We go from meeting a cute guy to wanting to be boyfriend and girlfriend in 2.5 seconds. All of a sudden we're fantasizing the future. All the things we'll do together. The delicious meals we'll eat and places we'll travel together. This is all fun, but it isn't reality. Having this mindset gives you tunnel vision, and you may be so engrossed in your fantasy that you miss out on the reality of the situation. This guy might not be the one for you (or he might be) or you may not be seeing the one who is for you. Standing to the right of your tunnel vision. 

2. Don't over think things, just have fun. 

If you're dating someone or in a relationship with someone, it should be fun and enjoyable. (If it's not-you need to get the eff out and re group with a new game plan!) Maybe you're worried that the guy you are dating doesn't like you or you said something stupid and now he thinks you're an idiot. We've all been there. Don't dwell on it. Pay attention to how you feel with this person. If you feel awesome and giddy, only let those thoughts enter your mind. Don't clog you're mind with negatives. Don't label things right away. Let the dating grow organically. If it works out, fabulous. If not, don't be discouraged, be thankful for that good time you had with him and look forward to the one you will find some day who is not only fun, but kick ass in every other way too(and thinks you are too!). The whole point of dating and being with someone is to figure out what you want in a relationship. 

3. Live your life

This one I cannot emphasize enough. DO NOT. I repeat: DO NOT plan and revolve your life around a guy you're dating. I don't think there is anything more frustrating than seeing one of my girlfriends make this dumb move. Years back I was guilty of doing this once or twice, but I do think that if you asked my friends they would tell you that I've always been one to keep hold and maintain friendships even when in a relationship. Do not put aside your plans or fail to make plans with others in hopes that the guy you have been seeing will call or text you to go out on a date. You are really setting yourself up for disappointment with this move. Not only disappointment if he never does call, but also your friends will become disappointed that you refuse to make plans with them because this guy is more important to you. You'll start to look like a shitty friend to them. If two people like each other and are dating, they will find the time. It will be a joint effort to make the time. It should never be you waiting by the phone while the other one is out living it up. Get out there and live it up too! You can't be happy with someone if you can't even be happy when it's just you hanging out with you. Also, I don't know about you, but I get real turned off when a guy's schedule is too open. I once received a text from a guy I met at a bar the night before that read "I had a really good time hanging out..lets do it again. I'm free everyday this week so let me know when you are"  Yikes! Let's just say home boy and I weren't going to work out.

I read an article last night called "How to Pick Your Life Partner" on Huffington Post. I really enjoyed this article as it pretty much goes against everything that people say about relationships and marriage. We live in a divorce laden world, clearly what we're doing now isn't working. Time to try something different. This article is the kind of thing that every person needs to read before they get married to someone. I would love to delve into this article sometime on my blog. You should take a look at it and see what I'm talking about. Getting married to someone is a big deal. They are a life partner. That's something I only want to find once, and if you do it right, once is enough. 

Goodnight, Readers.

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