Becoming Army Strong

I'm one month, and one week into this 9(ish) month deployment, and I feel like I'm starting to finally understand why Army wives, and girlfriends say deployment separates the girls from the women. This stuff is TOUGH. These last few days have really been kicking my ass emotionally. I haven't been able to get in contact with KC since Thursday night. He emailed me that night and said he would call me the next day (Friday) and here we are on a Monday night, and still no call. No reply to my email sent yesterday morning either. I have been so beat up about it. I've scoured the internet to see if something went down in his province, but I haven't been able to pull up anything on the web. I absolutely HATE doing that too, but I can't help it, I have to look around to see, for my own sanity. That's the worst part of being just a girlfriend, you're not told if something does happen-God forbid.

My absolute total fear during this whole deployment is that something happens to him, I don't find out til way later on. Or even worse, I find out from watching the news and not expecting it. KC's mom lives across the country so I haven't met her yet, and he promised me he gave her my number in case something does come up, but I still worry.

I hate that I haven't talked to him on the phone in over a week now. We had such a good communication schedule going for a couple of weeks. We'd email back and forth a few times a week, and talk on the phone about once a week as well. Now I haven't heard anything for four or so days. I haven't slept well since Friday night. Last night I went to bed late because I couldn't sleep. I woke up at 3am wide awake. I stayed awake until 5:30, then got about 30min shut eye before I had to get up and get ready for work. And  the tears!! What the heck!? I don't EVER cry, and I'm a big sobbing baby in my bed at night. I'm just so scared that something horrible is going to happen to him. I'm so excited for our future, and all that we have planned when he gets back. I'm terrified that all that will be swiped away from me in a moments notice.

I also feel it wouldn't be right to tell him all of this. I really don't want him being distracted over there by being worried that I'm ok over here. I'm strong, I know I'll get through this, but deployment is definitely not for the weak.

What did you do to combat the deployment blues, and become Army strong?

Goodnight bloggers.