I feel homesick, and I'm at home.

I keep trying to tell myself this.

 It's been a little over two weeks since KC deployed. I have had this same gross feeling in my stomach all weekend, and a heavy heart. I already really miss him. It's almost like a home sick feeling, but I'm sitting at home right now!! I think the fact that I haven't talked to him on the phone since last Sunday or received an email from him since last Monday makes it even worse. I hate not hearing from him for more than a few days. It's as if him talking to me, and me hearing his voice calms my nerves. The more often I hear from him the better I feel because I know he is alive and well. So here I am, seven days since I heard him, and three days since I sent him an email with no reply back yet. I realize this is probably normal for any soldier over in Afghanistan, but it still freaks me out.

I've been keeping relatively busy this weekend, but there still has been the thought of him in the back of my head. There always is, but this time it's the thought of wondering why I haven't gotten a email or phone call from him. Every time my phone notifies me of a new email I find myself holding my breath when I click on it. Holding my breath and hoping that when I open my inbox it will be an email from him. Not yet. I guess I will keep playing this game with myself until I hear from him.

It truly sucks being in this situation, and having no prior experience to know what the norm for all this deployment stuff going on. It sucks not having a support system of people who have gone through this before. If any of you out there can offer any words on this, please do. I'm really at a loss of what to think and do.